WALT write descriptively about building castles in the sand.
it could be at the beach, in a sandpit, maybe a memory from when you were in Rimu Team or simply just a made up story.
Remember to: Hook the reader in at the beginning.
Remember to: use the Word Wall to choose more descriptive words for: looked, saw walked, went
**** Remember to: try and use sight, smell, sound, taste and touch to add interest
Finally we made it to the beach. I ran down and found the best spot that had lots of sticks and shells lying all over the sand . So I decided to make a big sand castle .
The sand felt so smooth and the shells looked so shiny . I got started by building four castle’s which made one on each corner. Then I built a gate out of sticks but it just kept on falling so I used it for making flags. I then decorated the four castles with the seashells they looked so beautiful.
I decided that I wanted to make a river in front of the castle so I filled the bucket with water and poured it on the sand I was disappointed cause the sand kept sinking so I had to get lots and lots of water finally I was finish building my sand castle but there was a yucky smell coming from the castle, I realised it was the wet sand. so I left it there and played with my brothers.
Hi leiola
ReplyDeleteI really like how you used a start the story like that because your there straight away and you can start with the story quickly. Well done leiola!!!!!!
From Grace
Hey Leiola,
ReplyDeleteYou used some great words to add interest to your story, some of these were: "decided", "disappointed", "realised". It was well thought out and planned into nice tidy sentences. Well done.
Mr Lyons